Check in here my CPTSD friends!

Noticed there’s no daily (or however frequently you prefer) check in thread here.

UNTIL NOW!!! 😎

A friend has C-PTSD, but she's getting help for it. I have traits, myself, if I were to have a list in front of me.

Yeah, man, we don't have a list...
UNTIL NOW!

Straight outta Wikipedia

There is no ****ing help for it (or anything) in this forest.

Getting through it as there is no other way around it.

Triggers…..

I was just diagnosed with PTSD yesterday, so it's nice to have a check in thread, I know this is old but I'm reviving it in hopes that it becomes more active.

I've been dealing with a lot of dissociation lately but I started doing EMDR with my therapist recently and am hopeful that helps

Thanks muddy. And thanks blue bird for picking it up.

I’m doing pretty good lately. I haven’t dissociated since Wednesday and today’s Saturday so that’s good. Wednesday was really really bad though. But am using DBT to try and manage my anxiety.

In a little confused as to my actual dx, because I loooked at my treatment plan closer and they put “rule out PTSD”. I’m fairly certain I have it though, and both the NP and MD at my usual hospital think I definitely have CPTSD. I don’t like talking about the PTSD symptoms outpatient too much because it feels different, and maybe the symptoms are more hidden when I’m one on one with my pdoc vs being watched 24/7 for days/weeks at a time over years?

Oh well. I’m in a new, better living environment now and my anxiety is so low compared to before.

Annnd here we go again. I’m dissociating

Back to revive this thread. Doing more work with my therapist. She does EMDR with me and is trauma informed and trained. She’s really good. I feel I’ve improved since seeing her. Overall I’m dissociating a lot less and when it happens I’m able to deal with it and sometimes even stop it in its tracks before it gets overwhelming.

This particular workbook has been especially helpful for me



I also have another one called The Dialectical Behavior Theory therapy skills workbook for PTSD which has been helpful as well.

Anyway yeah taking it day by day. Takes a lot of work.

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I would say the thing I’m struggling with most is lately my therapist has been asking what I’d say if my younger self was in the room with us now, which makes me feel highly uncomfortable to be honest. And to be honest I don’t know what I’d say. I’m sorry your life is so ****ed up because your mom? Don’t attempt suicide like I did when I was 14 and again when I was 19 because it gets better? Does it? I’m stuck with dissociation and all the other PTSD symptoms. I have trouble regulating myself. I numb myself with unhealthy coping mechanisms that are so engrained that I don’t know where to begin with breaking those habits.

Some days are good. Other days I’m drowned in dissociation and panic. The overall trend is better because I’ve remained out of the hospital for 8 years and am mostly stable on my meds for the bipolar side of things. But it’s the therapy that helps the CPTSD and that’s been hard lately. My therapist has really been pushing and challenging me. It’s hard , I want to resist. But I know it’s good in the long term

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My 2nd T initially diagnosed me with complex PTSD but later changed it to a truck load of other disorders. But my psychiatrist said I have PTSD so I don't know what to think of it

So I haven’t dissociated in few weeks. Part of it is probably an unrelated med adjustment part of is just I’ve been able to pull myself out of it when it does happen. Idk if I’m just getting better at coping with it when it goes happen or what but the overall trend is it’s happening A LOT less. Things that normally majorly trigger it aren’t triggering it really anymore.

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Still haven’t dissociated. I thought I would have for sure today after being overstimulated out at the farmers market but somehow managed to make it home, take a nap and no dissociation. I have therapy tomorrow.

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I have a lot of flashbacks, but recently I react neutral

This morning my big bro triggered me by talking about some place and people
It stressed me, my chest hurt and I remembered memories

Well, I'm definitely here too after that last psych hospital go-round (described by all my previous posts here), but my life was pretty traumatic before that too...! I wouldn't wish my ACTUAL life on anyone, but I'm still here and fighting...taking my meds exactly as prescribed by a thankfully competent psychiatrist (given my past psychiatric experiences in the U.S. medical sytem and in the state Texas in particular where your spouse of 21 YEARS cannot do diddly squat for your psych. care; he needs to be a notarized medical power of attorney!).

I'm doing more stuff like driving our 21 yr old car to the grocery store and picking up some essentials...I WAS out of cream cream and sliced cheese, and I crave cheese so much right now...

I mean, I'm doing OK, considering! I never even dealt with/got closure from my childhood trauma with sexual abuse from a creepy uncle and a physically/pyschologically violent father on the Asperger's spectrum for certain and complacent mother immediate family situation...HOME almost NEVER felt safe when my father was around...! I couldn't even make friends beyond elementary school though kids spoke to me because I was valedictorian and they wanted to check their homework with me.

Who cares about other trauma...?! An ED, a shooting when I was in graduate school, bad psychiatric experiences in Texas before I got married, that masseuse in my 30s, emergency ulcer surgery, these traumatic PTSD inducing runs with bipolar mania psych hospitalizations with psychosis/dementia lasting over 1 MONTH long have been a doozy even when I didn't deal with physical abuse/poorly trained staff/possible & probable rape while inpatient, being yelled at all the time, hurt again and again through the pain.

I'm coping with things to the best of my ability...!

I'm doing my best to deal with life! I'm just HUMAN!

I'm doing more and more each day. I'm able to drive myself to the pdoc again. I'm working and working at putting trauma behind me. Really, I probably need therapy, but I have been burned by so many T's in the past and have never made any progress with the rest (never felt bonded), I've just pretty much given up on therapy (sigh).

Doing pretty well, haven’t dissociated or had panic attacks for a few days

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@Blue_Bird - That's awesome!

I'm doing well too, considering I have so much trauma in my past, and my recent hospitalization really did a number on me. I don't know if I will ever recover from the trauma of that hospitalization. One day at a time. I love the lyrics of Burn the Ships by King + Country.

So long to shame, walk through the sorrow
Out of the fire, into tomorrow
So flush the pills, face the fear
Feel the wave disappear
We're comin' clean, we're born again
Our hopeful lungs can breathe again
Oh, we can breathe again

Step into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away
We can dance upon the heartache, yeah
So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships